Friday, August 8, 2014

Back to School

Today Sophia starts 10th grade.  At public school.  We toyed with this for several months before finally deciding that it wouldn't be good for me, for my healing, for our healing as a family, if she did online school at home.  Behavior is better, falling into the "irritating teenager" category most of the time, but me stepping in to direct her schoolwork, to constantly check to make sure she's doing what she's supposed to do, what she say's she's doing. . . . I'm not ready yet.

Add to that, Freyja will have surgery that puts her into a cast to her hip and a cast to her shoulder. . . ultimately we decided that it would be best to homeschool her, while Sophia goes to public school.

But Sophia is growing, maturing.  She spent the summer working odd jobs around the house to earn enough points to "buy" my time to re-lox her hair.  I told her when she started undoing it that once she undid it, I would  no longer be responsible for her hair, in any way, either time wise, or financially.  I told her that if she persisted in undoing her hair, she would be responsible for buying any styling products, tools or additional products on her own.  And for the better part of the year, she continued to undo, whether to get back at me for some unknown reason, or to prove her power, I don't know.

However, at the beginning of the summer, after her meds started working, she came to me and asked if she could earn points for the purpose of loc-ing.  We settled on 100 points per hour of my time, and it took 500 points when all was said and done.  She weeded, mowed the grass, dusted, swept, read with sisters, graded papers, cleaned bathrooms, toilets and showers, scrubbed floors.  You name it, we probably had her doing it.  Of course my mother things it's horrible that I wouldn't just redo her hair.  Personally, I think it's fantastic.  She learned that my time is valuable, that I keep my word, and she learned that she has to work (sometimes a lot harder than she ever imagined) to undo mistakes of the past.  Life lessons right there.

Unfortunately, because she'd damaged her hair so much during the un-do phase, we had to cut about 6 inches off the length of her remaining locs.  But now she's got a cute bob that she loves and it's all one length.  Win.

We're also in major "buckle down" mode after several purchases dented our emergency fund.  Honestly, it feels good to have a plan and to be sticking with it.  It's easier to eat a healthy diet if I cook everything myself, particularly with fresh veggies and fruits.  We're spending a little more quality time together as a family, playing games, doing puzzles and reading together.  I think we're on target to be BACK on track by the end of the year.


Livia said...

Glad things are going better, I like your approach!