Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Random Musings

I'm ITCHING for another kitty.  I can barely contain myself.  I've actually been wanting a kitten since Morris got sick, so . . . since October/November, which oddly (or not for those that know me well) coincided with Dad's death.  Every time I feel the urge to pick out a kitten, I sweep.  So far so good.  But I did put in an application to be a foster parent through a local humane society.  They provide all the food, medication and litter, and I get to play with the kitties for 2 months with no further obligation.  WIN-WIN

My yard FINALLY looks like something other than a white trash trailer park lot.  It's still not great, but I've got the tarp off the lawn (which killed most of the weeds) in that section, the wood pile has been moved to the pile behind the fence, and I got my black sheeting off the lawn from last years tomatoes.  I was feeling mighty pleased with myself after 4 hours of hard yard work.  Then I went over to my mom's house and her garden areas look fan-freaking-tastic. 

I'm off to the doctor tomorrow.  I'm worried.  I've been having quite a bit of chest pain, fatigue and shortness of breath.  That can be totally stress related.  But given that my grandmother had a heart attack at 40 and my mom has had heart problems for years, I'm not holding out hope.  I've eaten complete and total shit for 6 months, put on 20, yes 20, pounds and have stopped working out almost entirely.  But the chest pain has kicked me into high gear.  I've been eating clean for the past week.  I've gone out walking a few times.  I'm drinking more water.  I'm focusing on getting nutrition from my food instead of an emotional boost.  It helps to think in terms of fueling my body, but damn it.  I fucking LOVE cookies, chips and popcorn!  Moderation.  I'm not good at that.

Sophia.  We've got two days left of school.  I'm simultaneously dreading having her home 24/7 and thanking the universe that I can FINALLY sleep in again.  I am NOT a morning person, and try as I might, I just don't function well getting up at 5:30 every day.  But. . . we're trying out a mood stabilizer and that seems to be working.  Somewhat. There are still many, many aspects to her personality that I just don't like, but for the past week, we haven't seen the extreme mood swings that we had been seeing.  Hopefully the removal of school related stress will help level her out further.


Livia said...

Sounds more positive. I'm so glad. I'm not at the weight I want to be either. I've still been trying to do 10,000 steps a day though--and I'm a week away from the Color Run. Get your fitbit back on!